Graham Sedam Writes

This year, this month actually, I'm turning forty. I'll try to spare you the clichés and trappings of a post about turning forty, but chances are I'll fail at that. Why? Because there's something universal to stereotypes and clichés. There's a truth to them that we may not want to admit. There's a reason they exist. Turning forty and our feelings about it are no exception. I could also go on at great lengths talking about a lot of different things related to my life up until turning forty and where I’m at in life now and where I see myself going. Instead, I felt it best to highlight a few different things that I’ve thought about most in regards to this decade milestone. How has age influenced my decisions and my outlook the most? I don't believe that I went through or am going through a midlife crisis. To some extent, I feel like I've already gone through plenty of internal life crises. In the least, we all have micro life crises along the way, so

Last week, my family and I watched Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children , and we all loved it. We had time to watch a movie that night, maybe not a 2+ hour movie, but none of us were up too late. My wife didn't know anything about the movie, but I was at least somewhat familiar with the premise. My daughter had suggested that we watch it, and then insisted on it, as she has watched the trailer "thousands of times." This was news to my wife and me, but we believe it. We have Apple TV and one of the apps that comes standard is a Trailers app. It's quite nice to have, actually. I think the movie is appropriate for children, dependent upon the children and their age. It's much darker and more scary than my wife and I had anticipated, and we kept asking them throughout the movie if it was going to be a problem, if they were going to have nightmares. We were continually reassured that everything was fine, that it was scary, and that they were really enjoyi

Last year, I wrote a post about a play that I attended at the Children's Theater. I won't be getting into that because you could obviously just read it. But, much like the situation surrounding last year's event, this one was also a Girl Scout sponsored night that was a prize for Super Sellers. This year's play was A Year With Frog and Toad . Even though we only had three tickets, we all went to the Children's Theater. My wife and toddler son, much like last year, were going to peruse the adjoining Minnesota Institute of Art. Fortunate for us, not everyone who attends needs three tickets, and a woman asked my wife if she'd like her extra ticket. We said yes, of course. In hind sight, we probably didn't need an extra ticket and could've showed up with no tickets and still have watched the show. Whether it was lax security, a general trust of others, or the fact that the theater wasn't quite full, no one seemed concerned about making sure ever

Earlier this year, my wife and I watched an HBO show called The Young Pope . At first, I liked it because of its oddness and frankness, but overtime, the story started to grow on me in a way that I never expected. The first two episodes were interesting, but it wasn't until about halfway through the season that I realized how much I looked forward to watching it and not just because it was the series we were currently watching. I was expecting it to be different than it was. My thinking going into it was that the young pope would be hip and with the times and buck tradition, giving the old guys heartburn just worrying about what he'll change. And while there is a certain amount of "giving old guys heartburn," it's not what you'd think. It shouldn't be a surprise that religious topics are a big focus of the show, but I personally didn't feel there was any grandstanding. To me, the show approached these in more of a cerebral acknowledgement o

Earlier this year, I came to the conclusion that it seemed like we hadn't been having any fun as a family. We were all busy doing our own things, and when we interacted, we were just trying to knock out that part of the day and get through it. To say it was or is anyone's fault would be a lie. Most families are sure to go through this from time to time and the larger the group, the harder it can be. Especially when there are small children in the mix. Especially when two of those kids can't behave or handle being around each other. Especially when one of those kids screws around at school all day and then wants to get their work done at home and then complains that there's no time. I'll just stop there. It would be ridiculous to sit here and write out all of the things we have going on within any given week. Besides, each week is different, each segment of the year has it's unique challenges. To those who can relate to this post personally, you already k

I'm not going to say that two people in a relationship have to like all of the same movies and TV shows, but preferences can say a lot about a person without actually saying much. A picture is worth a thousand words, I've heard. Well, do moving pictures equal more? There's obviously a lot more that goes into any one relationship and that was certainly the case with us. The first two shows my wife and I watched together when we started "dating" were Psych and Alias . I say "dating" with quotes because we never dated as much as we were just not married yet. I didn't know anything about the TV show Psych , and I knew very little about Alias going into it. What those shows ultimately showed me was that I could sit on the couch each night watching TV with this person and have a great time. And, somewhat oddly, it helped us to get to know each other better. Events and dialogue in a show or movie can spur dialogue amongst its viewers. And more

A few weeks ago, my two older kids had a "fall break," aka MEA, aka my kids don't understand how aka works, which leads to head-scratching laughter. Basically, the teachers have meetings and hold conferences with parents. So, we met with their teachers and learned about how the year was going from their teachers' perspective. The teachers also get our perspective and that helps them handle the students on an individual basis. It's nice to know where improvement might be needed and to clarify certain expectations. For the most part, we walked away with warm fuzzies. I also walked away from my older son's conferences with some stomach contents on my shirt. Thanks, baby boy. That's still better than when he rained spit-up down on me as I held him up above me that same week only days prior. I didn't get any in my mouth, but my nose wasn't so lucky. I walked upstairs to my wife and could only mutter "help" in a very defeated tone. I mos

Yeah, I went there. There are more inconveniences out there than the truth, Al Gore . While I will spare any unnecessary details and grossness, this post title came to me last week and I couldn't resist. No, I won't be talking about excrement, or maybe, I will. Let's see where these words take us. I will be touching upon some reality that comes about with having kids—at least a reality for my wife and me. My wife and I are a team. This means we try to keep each other informed of what we as individuals have going on in our lives. My wife has become quite the runner this year. She needs to train for 5K s. This along with other tasks she would like to accomplish gets brought up and figured out for the week. The same goes for me as well. I let her know what I would like to accomplish for the week or when overtime is available at work. We're always checking in with each other and coordinating our ever increasingly complicated lives. This is not a hard concept for most

If you've been reading my blog so far, you might think I don't like my kids or are wondering why I had any at all. Well, the older two are technically step-children, so I didn't start out the parenting deal slow and steady. It was more of a jump in and go. That hasn't always been easy for me, making the transition. To assume it's been hard would be wrong, too. Oh, the subtleties of life. I do love them and want the best for them, even if I don't like the way they behave sometimes. I want to tuck them in at night and help them succeed during the day. I want to play a part in their bright futures and have grandchildren to spoil and look after when my kids are losing their minds as adults. I wasn't looking for a ready-made family when I fell for my wife. I met her where I work when she worked there, and since I didn't talk much to her in the beginning, I didn't really know much about her life outside of work. Eventually, I learned she had kids